#also have an ear infection which is fun

[thebutchprinxe]

covid booster hit me like a TRUCK

[arolesbianism]

I should rly start eternal gales posting again I need to make sure the ppl who follow me know how much Tali and Aris make me to insane so that the isat au can have its full effect but alas I am allergic to drawing the human eg cast like 99% of the time and rn the only thing stopping that from being 100% is that I like fucking around with different art styles sometimes

[arcaneacolyte]

Go to get a COVID test, only to find out I have an ear infection and also possibly could still have COVID even though they tested negative

[katebishopsbaefy]

No Thinking

billie eilish x reader

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

summary: you break a "rule" and billie deals with you.

warnings: basically pure smut, mean!billie, dumbification, teasing, overstimulation, pussy slaps, crying

words: 1163

a/n: katebishopsbaefy posting three times in one week?? unheard of💩 but i've had an ear infection all week so i've had lots of time to write!! i also have a few asks, so those'll hopefully get done soon. please keep sending them they're so much fun!! also billie's haircut looks so good?? i don't understand why we're all hating???

Billie's been away for the past few weeks, out on her tour with her friends. Of course, you’ve loved seeing her so happy and excited to be on the road for once, but that doesn’t mean you hadn’t missed her terribly. You’d been so lonely all alone in the big house, and all of those photos and videos in your hidden folder had just been too tempting; you couldn’t resist.

You and Billie had made a half-assed agreement a while ago about not touching yourselves when the other was away. It wasn’t really meant to be a real rule; it was just something you’d seen on some porn website, and you thought it might be fun to try.

You definitely hadn’t thought it all the way through.

When she came home, just a little over two hours ago, things had gotten heated between you so quickly. Her lips were all over your mouth, your neck, your chest, anywhere she could reach. 

“God, I missed you s’much” she mumbled against your cleavage as she sucked a dark purple bruise into the soft skin. You tugged on her dark hair, and whatever response you’d been about to mutter quickly turned into a gasp when you felt her start to swirl her tongue around your nipple, and then suck sharply. She must’ve really missed you.

She’d settled you on the bed, all fluffed up with blankets and pillows. She might’ve missed you, she might’ve wanted you so bad she could’ve burst, but she’d always make sure you’re comfortable first. You'd kissed for a while until she’d gotten too impatient to wait, so she kissed her way down your body, between your breasts, across your stomach, ending with some soft sucks to your thighs. She gently pushed them open, and mumbled against them, “You been good f’me?”

You understood exactly what she meant. No, you haven’t been good for her. It was just so hard, having no one to touch you for weeks. You had to do it yourself…but all you’ve ever wanted was to be good for her, so you nodded your head, your mumbled words coming out more slurred and sloppy than hers, “Mhm. Been good, promise.”

But when she’d feel the slight resistance of you trying to keep your legs shut, you knew you’d been caught. “C’mon, babygirl… lemme see,” she murmured in that soft, but patronizing tone that always had you stuttering and blushing. And of course, you folded.

Her hands slowly pushed your thighs apart, revealing your soaking wet heat. Her eyes had visibly darkened, her finger traced up and down your slit. It was like she’d forgotten that she was teasing you for a moment, so entranced by you, so unable to keep her hands off of you. An audibly shaky breath would pull her back to reality.

She’d slowly pushed a finger in you as her eyes met yours, and you’d immediately recognized that look on her face. She’d seen right through your lie. She’d be able to feel it.

“Aw, baby…”, she murmured in that tone, the one that made it feel like she was talking down to you (which she was). Her finger gently felt around, enough to make you clench, but she’d still been able to tell what you’d done. “Feels like you’ve been touchin’ yourself… have you? You been stretchin’ out your needy little hole while I was gone?”

 Your head was nodding along before you even realized what was happening. It’s just the way she talks to you, like she’s poking fun. It folds you right in half.

Billie softly clicked her tongue at you, and the tears sprang into your eyes when her finger traveled to your clit. She’d gotten you right where she wanted you; so overwhelmed you can't even think. And it’d only been a few minutes of teasing.

“You know the rules. Couldn’t’ve waited a few days f’me to get back? You’re that needy?” she teased, and you whined, already slipping into that headspace she loves to put you in where all you can do is feel. 

When her finger started to trace circles into your clit, you whined again and gazed up at her with dark, tearful eyes. “I-I’m sor-”, you started, but she cut you off with a sharp slap to your cunt. One physical act of humiliation among a sea of verbal jabs. You whimpered and jolted like usual, immediately closing your mouth.

“Nuh uh, no thinkin’, baby. Too dumb f’that right now. Just needa have your pussy fixed…”, she mumbled so sweetly, so cruelly, and you shivered at the implication. She was going to make you come until you were tight again.

She rubbed your clit until you were shaking and crying, making you finish one, two, three times. Making you finish until she was satisfied.

And now, after what’s felt like hours of abuse on your clit, she’s finally decided to move on.

She pulls her finger away, and gently taps your nub with it, just to watch your legs twitch. To make sure you're sensitive enough. Her finger finds its way back down to your hole, gently pushing into you in a way that makes you tense and whimper. And she grins that stupid, cheesy, lopsided grin that makes your stomach flip. She looks so sweet, but so mean.

Her fingers wrap around yours, leading your hand down your body until she’s separating your middle and ring finger from the rest. Before you even know what's happening, she’s guiding your two fingers into your pussy, and a matching pair of her fingers are holding the back of yours to force them against that spot that makes you see stars. Of course, you whine and squirm, much too overwhelmed and overstimulated to have four fingers pressed into you. You’re too tight to be so full. But, of course, she holds you down.

“Mmm… now you’re all nice ‘nd tight again. Feel it, babygirl?”, she teases, her voice dripping with soft cruelty as she fucks your fingers into you. When you don’t respond, she takes her thumb and grinds it against your swollen clit, hard enough to make you jolt and scream. Eyes fly open and fill with a fresh set of tears as you nod at her. Your chest rises and falls heavily with each breath, your hair is all messy from so much squirming, your red eyes brim with tears, and the sight just makes her groan. 

“Think we gotta stretch you out again, mama,” she murmurs, her lips finding their way to your cheek to kiss away your tears. It’s so sickly sweet compared to the way she’s started to pound into you. You hadn’t even realized, but she’d pulled your fingers out and replaced them with all four of her own, intent on making you scream and cry until you passed out. And after just a few more rounds, she succeeds.

Maybe you should’ve thought twice about making that dumb rule with her.

[fever-project]

I’m not DEAD, Daniel (2904 words) by FeverProject Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, Danny Phantom Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Danny Fenton & Wild (Linked Universe) Characters: Danny Fenton, Wild (Linked Universe), the rest of the LU gang are also there but they aren’t important Additional Tags: This isn’t crack but it sure is silly, very much so for me, Ghost King Danny Fenton, Tired Danny Fenton, Wild (Linked Universe) is a Little Shit, might be ooc hopefully not, Misunderstandings, just a little bit Summary: DPxLU crossover because I couldn’t help myself. Surprised I didn’t do this earlier considering gestures at my everything Wild has an encounter with the Ghost King. It is definitely an experience.

Uhhh fanfic, yeah. I’m going to explode. Art

Enjoy 👍

▼

Wild was bored. Which wasn’t exactly a rare occurrence, but it was one that he hated. It was night time now and he was supposed to be asleep, just like everybody else in the inn. But he wasn’t like everybody else, he already slept for 100 years straight, sleeping was only useful to him if and when he wanted to be more healthy. And sleeping every night was generally considered to be healthy, but Wild didn’t care, he needed to move.

Out the window he went, quiet as a mouse. Hopefully no one would notice he was gone, and that he would be back before morning came. But there was an entire forest nearby to explore, and he felt like he could-no, should explore to his heart’s content. The wilderness called to him, beckoned him in. That’s what he kept repeating to himself in his mind anyway, as a way to reassure himself, that as a hero who had saved Hyrule, sneaking out at night and potentially worrying the other heroes wouldn’t be a stupid thing to do. Zelda would’ve thought otherwise, and he knew that, but tried not to think about it too much.

The forest was mostly quiet, save for things like the chirping of birds and crickets. The faint rustling of trees was like music to his ears. There was a light breeze, which felt nice against his face as he ventured further into the forest. He tried his best to walk in as straight of a line as he could, to more easily find his way back. He really wished his Sheikah Slate worked properly in this time, maps made everything much easier. But then he would have to go searching for those towers, and while as fun as they were to activate, took up far too much time, much more than he and his group were currently willing to spare.

Wild was suddenly on edge. That odd shapeshifting, Lizalfos-looking, portal opening thing was still out there. Not to mention the black-blooded monsters that thing infected. Wild sighed as walked, now paranoid and frustrated. After a few moments of that, he finally gained enough brain cells to figure out that he should probably head back. With another sigh, which was more of a groan, he spun on his heel, turning around to make his way back to the inn.

Soon enough, something in the air…shifted, he couldn’t tell what. An oddly familiar yet unnatural feeling enveloped his senses as the sky started to turn into an odd shade of pinkish purple. The few clouds up in the sky, only a slightly lighter shade than the sky itself, swirled around above him, as the space in front of him split. Wild felt his heart drop and his breath leave his body as the rift continued to grow. Green glowing light bleed out from it, lighting up the trees and grass and him. Something was happening, something bad, and it was targeting him. He stumbled back, he had to, he had to get away and yet. And yet. It was calling to him. It was scaring him, the world behind the rift hated and loved him all the same.

Wild had to escape.

Wild tried to breathe, in and out, slowly, calmly, he looked for a way out. Trees, there were only trees and more trees and bushes and grass and even more trees-slowly, in and out, his breathing, his breath. He was alive, and he was going to make sure he would stay that way, bright green portal notwithstanding. The portal was growing bigger, quickly, but not as quick as Wild’s mind was when it was panicking. Maybe that meant that panicking was a good thing. Wild almost stopped panicking completely once he realized how stupid that thought sounded. His panic swiftly returned when a white boot stepped out of the portal. When matching white gloves also came out, Wild went to get out his sword and shield, fumbling with his slate as the person emerged from the rift, it closing behind them soon after.

“Excuse me?” The person asked, their words 

echoing, despite the conditions for that to logically happen simply not existing here. Wild stiffened, having only gotten his sword out. But he knew deep within his soul that it wouldn’t be very effective against the higher being standing before him. Yet his grip tightened despite that. He wouldn’t run away, not now, he would try his best to fight this being off if he had to. And if that failed, he would retreat, tactically.

The being was dressed in an odd black and white outfit, having tan skin and white hair. Their bright green eyes, glowing body, and their crown that was literally on fire were very clear signs that this person wasn’t anything he’s seen before. Not to mention the hovering. And the portal they just came out of. And the weird voice-and Wild needed to start focusing on the situation at hand.

The being raised their hands up defensively, “Hey, put down the sword, I’m not looking for a fight,” they said, “I’m just. Looking for someone, yeah.”

“Uh huh,” Wild dumbly nodded, keeping his eyes on them.

“Right, okay, let me just-“ they looked around, suspicious at their surroundings, “-okay, don’t tell anyone you saw me, or that you saw this. Actually, it doesn’t matter, forget what I just said.”

Wild nodded again, watching as a ring of light came out of their waist, enveloping them as they donned a more hylian appearance. They had even odder clothes on in this form, baggy and worn. Their skin was paler and their hair was pitch black. They looked like death in the form of a teenage boy.

“Are you Death?” Wild asked blatantly. Listen, he was curious, he need to know this. The being raised an eyebrow at him, confusion evident on his face. “Like,” Wild scrambled to rationalize his less than rational thought process, “I don’t know, you seem scary? And corpse-like? Are you dead? Am I dead-well, no, I can’t be dead, that would be silly, ha. But are you?”

“Well I am the Ghost King, king of ghosts,” they said plainly, with a shrug, “Name’s Danny, Danny Phantom, and that’s really all you know about that. Listen-“

“Aren’t you like, twelve?” Wild knew they probably weren’t twelve, but this ‘Ghost King’ guy looked pretty young.

“What? No! I’m not twelve, I’m like-“ they pouted, like a twelve year old, snapping their fingers in thought, “older than you!”

“Oh yeah, I’m-“ Wild stopped, wondering if it would be smart to tell the Ghost King that he’s technically one hundred and seventeen years old. “I am at least seventeen! And I look like it as well.”

“You’re the same height as me.”

Wild looked at the ghost, glared at them, walking a bit closer to them. He placed his hand on top of his head and moved it forward, towards the Ghost King’s head. His hand brushed against their hair, but it clearly didn’t reach the top of their head. Wild grinned, well, wildly at the sight of being taller than them. They looked unimpressed.

“You’re the one acting like a twelve year old you know,” Danny scoffed, pouting.

“Says the pouter.”

“Look, can you just help me find this guy, since you’ve clearly calmed down now.”

“And why should I?”

“I’ll make your afterlife terrible otherwise.”

“Fine, I’ll help, gosh,” Wild was probably going to help anyways, he liked helping people. He just wanted to be annoying. “So, who and why?”

“Great! So, I’m looking for this guy named Link,” oh no, “Clockwork-he’s a time ghost, don’t worry about him-told me that he was hoping around other times with other guys also named Link.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Well-okay, you’re annoying so I’m just going to ignore that-“

“Time isn’t real.”

The two stared at each other, and Wild both wanted to punch himself in the face, and thought he was the funniest man alive. Danny seemed to think the same way too, with their bewildered expression suddenly turned into one holding back a lot of laughter.

“Al-alright, that was good I’ll give you that,” they chuckled, “Anyways, I’m looking for this specific Link because they’re supposed to dead, and I’m supposed to like-do something about that. I think I have a picture of this guy that Clockwork gave me, hold on.” They stuffed their hand through their goddess forsaken chest, and rummaged around like their own body was a mere storage container. Wild was instantly jealous of them. Sure he had his Sheikah Slate, but it wasn’t a part of his body.

Wait, Danny had a picture of him. Oh no, they were going to kill him. He didn’t need them to say word for word that they were going to kill him, but Wild didn’t know what else they could do to him. He needed to be on his toes and hone his quick reflexes in order to survive this ordeal.

“Annnd-nope, that’s my thermos-here it is!” They pulled out a piece of folded paper, and just as they started to unfold it, Wild snatched it from their hand and shoved it into his mouth.

“Wha-WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!” Danny shrieked, hands on the side of his head, horrified.

“‘Cause,” Wild responded in a muffled voice, chewing the paper. Tasted inky.

“Okay, you are definitely the weirdest person I’ve ever met, an I know a ghost who whole personality is boxes, just boxes. Actually, I don’t think he’s that weird compared to some other fruitloops I know of-but that doesn’t matter, spit that out!”

“No.”

“You are acting like a twelve year old-no, even twelve year olds wouldn’t do this, you’re five.”

Wild gasped, photo smushed to the side of his mouth, in between his cheek and teeth so it wouldn’t fall out.

“You’re just mad I’m right.”

“Nah uh!”

“Then how about you spit that out, like a normal, seventeen-you’re seventeen right?” Wild nodded, “Right, like a normal seventeen year old would, or I’ll phase it out of your mouth by force.” Wild did not like sound of that. So he spit out the photo, the slobbery mess falling onto the grass. Even Wild was grossed out by what he had done. Danny clearly was.

“You’re going to have to unfold that yourself, I’m not touching that,” Danny looked sick.

“Yeah, that’s fair, I’ll do that,” why wasn’t the paper metal, then he could use his Sheikah Slate to pick it up. Good thing he had some spare gloves stored in it, so it was fine, it’s fine. He started to unfold the paper, Danny peering over his shoulder, both with matching disgusted expressions. Wild was right about the contents of the drawing. His face, blast scars and all, was right there. Wild looked at Danny. Danny looked at him. Wild wanted to punch them in face and run off, but they are a ghost. But Wild still slowly raised his free hand into a fist, retaining eye contact.

Danny began to speak, “So-“ Wild swiftly punched them in their face, and skittered backwards, trying to look for a way back to the inn safely. The ghost had stumbled back, clutching their face in pain.

“Huh, so you can punch ghosts,” Wild noted.

“You can definitely punch this ghost,” Danny rubbed their hurt nose, “Didn’t even get me a chance to speak.”

“Please don’t kill me.”

“I’m not going to kill you, that’s not what I’m here for.”

“Oh.”

“Bet you feel stupid now, don’t ya?”

“A little bit, yeah.”

Danny sighs, pinching their nose, not in pain this time, but annoyance. “So,” they started again, “what I’m trying to do is get you on the ‘Supposed to be Dead but Came Back Anyways’ census. Basically, the name’s a work in progress.”

“And…I’m supposed to do something about it?”

“Kinda? Look, just sign here, and I’ll get out of your hair.” They pulled out another piece of paper out of their chest, with already had a few other names on it in neat little boxes. Wild couldn’t read any of those names, but Danny probably could.

Wild’s face scrunched up, trying to think about what he should do next. They hadn’t really explained their reasoning for any of this, so he still didn’t trust them too much. Maybe this was some elaborate ruse to kill him.

“Will me signing this ‘census’ give me any benefits-will it give you any benefits?” Wild pointed accusingly at Danny.

“Well, are you dead?”

Wild groaned, “I’m not DEAD Daniel,” Wild threw his hands into the air in frustration, “Just use your stupid ghost words to explain to me what I need to do and why.”

“Okay,” Danny squeaked out, “But first off, name’s just Danny.”

“Uh huh.”

“And secondly, I’m doing this because there’s a bunch of ghost legal jargon where your name was already listed on both the ‘dead,’ and then also the ‘not dead’ list after you came back to life. You signing this will help fix that.”

“…Aren’t I time traveling right now?”

“Yes, but it’s still good to note down who had came back to life. Please just make my life easier, this is themost stress inducing part of my job I’ve ever done.”

Wild was starting to feel a bit bad now. So now, with a better understanding of the situation, he took the paper from Danny’s hands.

“Here’s a pen to write with,” Danny gave him a pen from their chest.

“Can all ghosts store stuff in their bodies?” Wild asked as he wrote down his name in the next free box, adding on his title of ‘Hero of the Wild’ in the same box, just to specify things.

“No, but I sure can,” they said with a big smile.

“That’s so cool.”

“I know.”

The two laughed a bit as Wild returned the paper and pen to Danny.

“Well, sorry for not explaining my motivations fully, I’m a bit…tired, ha ha,” Danny rubbed the back of their neck, clearly embarrassed.

“Yeah. Sorry for punching you.”

“Now I’m going to go take a nap. Or sleep for once.” A ring of light enveloped Danny yet again, returning him to his more ghostly form. Then he turned around and held out his hand, before cutting the space there, opening the bright green portal.

“See you in the Ghost Zone, Link! Eventually!” They waved as they stepped into the rift.

Wild waved back, “That sounds pretty ominous, but okay!” Danny laughed at that as he went all the way through, the portal closing soon after. Now Wild was left all alone in the woods.

He needed to get back to the inn.

It took him some time, but he eventually found his way back to the inn. In through the window, as quiet as a ghost, he was back in his room. He flopped down onto his bed, mentally exhausted. He would’ve rather been bored than have had dealt with…whatever that was. Not really, but Wild was certainly ready to go to sleep now, and pray that he wouldn’t have to meet that Ghost King ever again. Not because he was scared, but because he was a bit embarrassed about what happened. He acted a bit stupid there. But none of that mattered now. All that Wild had to do now, was to sleep.

ー

“Has anyone seen the champion yet?” Time asked, looking over the group that were all hanging around the inn’s dining room.

“Nope,” Warriors said with a pop, “He’s likely still asleep.”

“But I’m hungry,” Wind whined, “Captain, do you know how to cook?”

“I know how to make things edible and nutritious,” Wars plainly answered, receiving a few groans from various Links.

“We could just have the food they serve here,” Twilight suggested.

“Champ’s better,” Four retorted.

“How about we all wait a bit longer,” Time said, “It hasn’t even been half an hour since we woke up after all.”

They all muttered their agreements, and choose to occupy themselves with taking count of their resources for the time being. A few more minutes passed before Legend noticed something.

“Hey guys, I think I see the champ coming down right now,” Legend pointed at the staircase, and the other heroes scrambled to see their resident chef stumbling down the stairs.

“Are you doing alright?” Hyrule asked.

“You seem exhausted,” Sky added.

“Ye-yeah,” Wild yawned, stretching his arms, “Ghost problems and all that stuff.” He set out to make some food for his companions, who were looking at him with confusion and concern.

“Ghost problems?” A few of them asked at once.

“Is this place haunted?” Wind looked around with an excited grin on his face.

“Nope, but I sure got haunted in the woods out there,” Wild waved in the vague direction of where the forest was, “Now I’m going to make something to eat, want some?”

Of course they wanted some, food was important. They continued to ask questions about the ghost, but Wild didn’t answer, he didn’t feel like it. Maybe in like, two days he would. But for now, he just wanted to eat some Vegetable Risotto, maybe with a few Endura Carrots thrown in as well. Hopefully, he wouldn’t have to deal with that Ghost King again anytime soon. At least, hopefully not before this time traveling adventure ends.

[translunaryanimus]

More Official reference for the Chenest. They have hands now!! Written transcription + extra information under the cut cause this is a lot to put in alt text.

Chenest, aka Land Seals, Gecko Horses, or Deer Fish, are horse sized oviparous hypocarnivores that sustain themselves primarily on swamp vegetation and mouth-sized creatures.

They have a quartered septum with two channels being for air and two for smell specifically. The nostrils and scent glands can be closed independently of one another, allowing the Chenesht to smell without breathing and breathe without smelling. Additionally, their six barbels serve as electrical and touch sensory organs that make up for the relatively poor eyesight.

Their eyes are fairly nearsighted but have a wide field of view and focus primarily on detecting movement in their surroundings rather than clear images. While swimming, diving, or foraging underwater, a thin nictitating membrane covers their eyes to keep them protected from harmful irritants.

Chenesht ears, similar to their nasal cavities, can Seal while underwater to prevent irritation or water from getting stuck.

Chenest hands have four fingers both front and back with retractable claws, the center two being less curved than the outer two. The bottoms of their hands have two main Gecko like pads, a secondary pad, and a pad per finger, with their feet only having one main pad. These pads allow them to adhere to their slippery swamp environment without tripping and eating shit on the ground. In addition to claws, the 'Cob' sex of Chenesht posess Spurs on their ankles used for fighting.

Their small tails generally serve no purpose aside from keeping small fly-esque creatures away from their rears, preventing crop infection, as well as being a small fat reserve. It's theorized that Chenesht ancestors once had much larger tails that shrunk over time in favor of a more terrestrial lifestyle.

Chenesht teeth are covered in a thick layer of keratin called Rhamphotheca which regularly grows and sheds to protect the inner teeth from from the harsh, acidic flesh of the meat their diet used to be primarily made of, as well as the irritating plant matter they regularly consume. Their dual uvulas allow them to produce thick, gummy saliva that keeps the cnidarian-typical barbs of the helium jellies (a common predator), nettle like thorn structures in most edible plants, and other soft tissue irritants from hurting their mouths as they chew. The Rhampotheca is black in color and leads to the appearance of ink stained or charcoal black teeth.

The blue blood of the Chenesht is due to Hemocyanins being the primary color receptor in their blood rather than Hemoglobins and is bolstered by a copper-rich diet.

The "hump" on their back is the attachment point for immensely powerful forelimb muscles. A Chenesht's arms are one of the strongest limbs on their body, second only to their powerful legs.

Chenesht are a bisex species, the two sexes being Reeve and Cob. Reeves are larger and duller, and Cobs are smaller and brighter. Cobs also possess a unique inflatable throat pouch used for amplifying calls and mating display. In their current culture, the pouch is often tattooed or otherwise decorated to enhance beauty and also because it's fun. Additionally, Cobs sometimes have patches on their body that flush with blood to take on a bright blue color. While mostly for display purposes, these patches will also flush if the Cob is exhausted or excited.

No I am not getting into Chenesht reproduction here. They work like seahorses. Sort of. That's all you'll get.

[followthebluebell]

I have a friend whose cat was originally part of a TNR program. The kitty was found in the boiler room of our apartment complex, somewhat feral, and ear tipped, and was given to the friend after a few weeks of no one claiming the cat.

Now here’s the kicker, when she got the cat from them she took it in for a wellness check and was told the kitty was a boy. Fast forward about 2 years and their previous vet retired leading them to find a new one, and one of the first things they say to her after the exam is “you realize he’s actually a she right?” And told her the cat is a girl.

Is this something common with fixed cats? I know when males are neutered later you tend to see more of a deflated sack unless there’s a whole ablation performed, but I also know that’s not a super common procedure so I’m just kinda curious lmao

I wouldn't say it's terribly common, but things happen. One of my personal cats was listed as male for a few years because a vet tech had misclicked on her file and it wasn't caught for ages. Sometimes a kitten looks fairly male at first but then the balls don't drop so you check again and oops, that's definitely a vulva. I called Mouse a boy for a few months just because her genitals were pretty indistinct at first and I didn't bother to check again until it was time for her neuter since it genuinely wasn't important to know if she was male or female right up until that point.

There was also a fun confusing moment where I got a kitten from a shelter and the shelter was very clear that the kitten was a girl. Her paperwork was pretty clear, listing that she was spayed because of a uterus infection. So I was pretty fucking surprised when her balls dropped a few weeks later. I checked her chip and they had given me the wrong kitten.

Which was fine, it all worked out in the end. Hermes nee Hermione found a lovely home.

There was another time when I got a VERY fluffy himalayan cat named Princess. She was matted absolutely SOLID. I shaved her down and started to really struggle with a set of mats around her urogenital area--- I just couldn't find the space to get the blades UNDER the mat.

In fact, I realized, the 'mats' were oddly symmetrical. And had a certain feel to them. And a certain shape. And a certain placement.

They were balls.

Princess was absolutely a boy. To his credit, he was incredibly patient about my fumbling around his testicles.

With a significantly less patient cat, I could see a vet making a mistake. With a semi-feral (or a full feral), you might only have a split second to check and sometimes that's just not long enough.

[l0vem41l]

the passenger princess playlists

「 tws + notes: no tws, unedited, probably ooc, self-indulgent because we have fun here, author's taste in music is utter shit 」

「 gn!reader, can be platonic or romantic <3 」

↳ ft. these stupid parasites that keep infecting my brain aka bruce wayne,clark kent, jason todd, tim drake, and stephanie brown

author's note: THEY ARE THE PASSENGER PRINCESS!!!! WHY???? because if i projected my music taste on the reader insert we would have many issues. im not THAT self indulgent w/ my stuff i say, posting hcs of character's music tastes based on my own

you decide that it's time to show how much you trust them.

"hey," you mutter, eyes still on the road, fingers absentmindedly drumming on the wheel. "...you can have the aux cord, by the way."

▸ BRUCE doesn't even take it at first. he usually prefers to drive in complete silence himself, so he lets you handle the music. he's pretty nonchalant about what you play, indifferent to most music as long as it doesn't make his ears bleed.

the first time he takes the offer and plays something he personally enjoys, it's pretty straightforward: his main genres are classical, jazz, and dad rock. like... a lot of dad rock. he can read the room er, car?? well enough to know that the classical and jazz songs he listens to aren't exactly driving playlist material. and yes something in the way by nirvana will be played battison i fucking love you

BRUCE's songs include: ♡ she sells sanctuary by the cult ♡ something in the way by nirvana ♡ 1979 by the smashing pumpkins

▸ CLARK is more than happy to share his music! he's always been excited to hear whatever you jam out to and is pretty open to different genres. he definitely finds favorites of his that match the energy of your car playlists. doesn't wanna play anything that's too much of a bummer though, mainly because driving with you has such good vibes!!! he can't ruin that :( unless your in some sorta mood to be upset. then he's got some stuff aka a lot of elliot smith and jeff buckley

he finds a lot to love in all sorts of genres. it's a mix of stuff that he grew up listening to with his parents, stuff that he found on his own from artists he enjoys, and stuff you introduced him to. his music taste is just a mosaic of love for the people around him.

CLARK's songs include: ♡ it's been a long, long time by harry james and his orchestra ♡ cupid by sam cooke ♡ real love baby by father john misty

▸ if there's someone who's going to criticize music without sharing his full music taste? it's JASON. he's actually not mean but he'll make comments which give the impression that he thinks he'd be better with the aux. like bro ask for the aux normally. REMIND HIM WHO'S HOLDING THE WHEEL. YOU BETTER PRAY THAT THE VOTERS ARE IN YOUR FAVOUR WHEN WE DRIVE INTO THIS TELEPHONE POLE

when you give him the aux privileges he's secretly overjoyed. he likes a lot of different genres, rock, metal, indie rock, some punk... but don't ruin his mood by pointing out his music taste is vaguely inspired by bruce's. or make fun of him for listening to sleep token. obviously he likes listening to chill music too— but for a drive? it's gotta be loud and fast. secretly gets happy when you like the songs he plays. the validation gives him a quiet sort of joy.

JASON's songs include: ♡ knives out by radiohead ♡ goddamn these hands by the taxpayers ♡ custer by slipknot

▸ TIM is pretentious about music, but he doesn't intend to be. he's proud of his taste to the point where he's beyond spotify wrapped and stats.fm. i firmly believe he's made his own software to track the music he's listening to and it's thorough. that being said, he really doesn't mind listening to your music. he likes giving recommendations based off of the songs you play in the car.

tim adores branching out into different genres, and the more obscure it is, the more he likes it. given, he's also into some pretty known and loved bands. car seat headrest. radiohead. slaughter beach, dog. the minute you hand him the aux, he's trying to put you on his favourites. a lot of indie. like... so much indie. and midwest emo... american football WILL be played. he also unfortunately cannot hide his love for the pinkerton album.

TIM's songs include: ♡ never meant by american football ♡ oh! starving by car seat headrest ♡ tragic girl by weezer

▸ STEPHANIE is so cool. i've seen swiftie headcanons but guys... pop punk princess stephanie brown is too real. pop punk, alternative rock, riot grrrl— all that stuff. probably got aux privileges before you even gave her permission, she just started queuing up her songs with yours.

when she gets full control, she already has a playlist ready for the drive. it's kind of all over the place, but the vibes are great. you will go from mommy long legs to chappell roan and then to whatever recession pop artist she's into that week. steph is also a big fan of evanescence, kittie, and hole. those in specific are heavily headcanon-y but i feel like she'd appreciate them.

STEPHANIE's songs include: ♡ misery business by paramore ♡ cherry scented by jack off jill ♡ gimmie brains by bratmobile

▸ what are you listening to? you don't know but CASS seems happy at least. when you gave her aux privileges, she didn't really know what to do. she ended up just picking her favourite songs out of your usual playlists.

eventually, she gets excited by the prospect of sharing what she usually listens to and it's... something. so here's the thing: she listens to a lot of ambient noise. like, things that people usually sleep to. you once drove around for half an hour listening to nothing but the noises of rustling leaves and chirping birds through your speakers. and she was happy.

she listens to a lot of music where there's not a lot of lyrics most of the time, but tends to listen to some of stephanie's music as well— usually the more mellow side.

CASS' songs include: ♡ relaxing tranquil day in the forest by nature sounds ♡ healing ritual by whatever, dad ♡ to violet by adrianne lenker

part two... potentially??? lmk which character's you'd want ^_^

— reblogs always appreciated!

[ghostgirl-22]

Idk if you write this kind of thing but i have ocd and i always see art as having it. Im just imagining Art spiralling, becoming neurotic and obsessive over his appearance, hygiene, schedules, social interactions ect til he has a nervous breakdown/panic attack

Mostly just imagining patrick being there for him over the years, calming his attacks, distracting him, helping him loosen up and telling him everything is okay and he loves him, he can always tell when arts mind starts drifting again and he squeezes his hand to ground him and remind him hes there ❤

Ooh lovely anon sorry this took forever <3 I wrote the whole thing from Arts perspective and realized I really don’t have much (read: any) experience with ocd and didn’t want to go to deep into thought processes so I just decided to scrap everything and try it from Patrick’s pov. I probably still fucked it but I hope that you will forgive me and let me know if I’ve harmed you in anyway by writing this. It is definitely not my intention so I will happily fix any issues<3 I will say some of Patrick’s language and reactions are awkward on purpose because he’s not a trained psychiatrist just some guy trying to be there for his friend.

Anywho! This is SFW. The smallest hints of homoerotic tension but that’s because this is challengers yall!! it’s not conclave which is also a great movie btw!

Everything is romantic 💝

—-

Patrick doesn’t always understand it. He remembers the first time Art had a panic attack in front of him. They were 12. Art had heard news that his grandma had fallen down and was in the hospital. Patrick didn’t know that but he woke up to Art trying to catch his breath. He was soaking wet, just out of the shower, splotchy red, still in his towel. Head down between his hands. Fists clenched around his ears, shaking like he couldn’t get comfortable if he wanted to. Patrick had panicked a bit, thinking he was having a seizure or something.

He hurried out of bed and sat next to Art on his, asking what was wrong. Art could barely get the words out but he grabbed onto Patrick when he got up to alert their floor monitor. “Please no, s-stay with me.” Art gasped.

And so Patrick did. He felt a little uncomfortable at first and started making stupid, tasteless jokes about celebrities just to cut through the heaviness. Surprisingly it got Art to smile and relax his fists just a little bit. He even brought up the time his sister dared him to dress up like Britney Spears and do the dance. That really made Art laugh. “I want to see a picture.”

Later on Art admitted he was afraid he’d caused his grandmas accident because he’d done something dirty (touched himself) the night before she got hurt and maybe God was punishing him. He’d been scrubbing himself raw in the shower trying to redeem himself. Intrusive thoughts in his head about her getting an infection, thoughts about her dying if he didn’t get clean.

“No way, you don’t have that kinda power,” Patrick said gently. “Besides God has so many people to worry about. I don’t think he’s sending all his punishment to a random kid for touching himself when there are murderers out there getting away with it.” He didn’t think Art really believed him but he was definitely calmer before they turned off the light. Luckily his grandma was fine. Just a broken wrist, no surgery required and she went home a few days later.

It wasn’t always related to something as serious as his grandma’s health. Coach told them a few years later that they were on the shortlist to earn recognition for being advanced players (especially for their age) during the end of year banquet. Patrick enjoyed the attention but he didn’t need recognition to have fun on the court. He and Art had managed to become a well oiled machine as doubles partners, they were 14, playing kids who were 17 and the best in their state and beating them. That was enough recognition for Patrick.

Oddly enough Art didn’t take the news well. He was already very strict about his training routine but he went a little crazy at the idea of earning that award. He was up everyday before dawn for two weeks. Running himself ragged in training.

By now Patrick had been roommates with him for 2 years and he could somewhat recognize the signs of an impending breakdown. And inevitably it happened after practice. Everyone else was exhausted, in the locker rooms, showering, changing eager to go home and get food. Art stayed on the court, hitting against the wall. Patrick cleaned up and when he came back out to convince Art to come with him to the mess hall, he noticed that Art was breathless, crying, slamming tennis balls against the wall over and over with all the force he could muster.

“Hey!” Patrick called several times trying to get his attention. “Hey, Art! Stop. Stop,” Patrick said when he got close enough that he could wrestle the racket away from him. Art sort of crumpled in his arms. Breathless, sweaty. His body tense.

That time Patrick sat on the tennis court with him until he started to calm down. Talking nonsense as it started to get dark around them. After a while Art finally admitted he didn’t feel like he was good enough for the award. He’d missed a few backhands while they played in the tournament against Piney Creek Academy and he’d been beating himself up ever since, forcing himself to get it right. “I feel like you carry me. Like I’m not even fucking good.” Art mutters.

“Dont be ridiculous. Yeah, I’m a little bit like a crazy person. But you’re a fucking machine. And I mean that in a good way.” Patrick explains.

Art snorts, little fireflies are beginning to light up around them, the cicadas and crickets are singing. “I don’t think that’s a good thing.” He says.

“In tennis it is…look at Federer. Look, nothing phases him. That’s just like you on that court when you’re not in your head. When everything…like all your mental whatever…when that leaves your head and you’re really playing… it’s like nothing can shake you. Least of all me. I fucking need you baby. Fire and ice. That’s us.”

Art smiles. “You’re comparing me to Federer?”

“Dont let it go to your head but yes. Hell fucking yes,” Patrick says. He still can’t figure out whether or not he’s saying the right thing. He read somewhere talking through it and distractions helped with panic attacks but it doesn’t specifically mention what to talk about. He probably shouldn’t be waving off Art’s very real mental thing as “mental whatever” but he does seem more relaxed. Enough that he’s finally ready to go inside for food. Which Patrick is starving for.

He’s aware of a lot of Arts ticks by the time they’re at the top of the school. He knows about ocd, he’s read a lot about it over the years. He can identify the types of things Art obsesses about. Even the compulsions. He’s still a little sucky at figuring out when he’s contributing to Arts anxiety but he’s really trying not to. And he’s really good at identifying the panic attacks. He’s even been able to stop a few before they got out of control.

When they're on the bus back from an away game and everyone is excitedly chatting about prom that night. Who they’re going with and how fun it’s gonna be. Patrick notices it when Art starts dissociating, when his eyes go glassy and he starts to rock back and forth anxiously in the seat beside him. Touch usually helps a lot to ground him back in reality. So Patrick grabs hold of his thigh, making Art aware of his presence. Maybe too aware. It brings him back down to earth but with how close they were…Patrick couldn’t help but notice it woke up something else. He didn’t want to freak Art out so he decided to ignore it for now, though he grips Arts fingers instead.

“You feel better?” He asks, quietly.

“Yeah,” Art says, clearly grateful that Patrick is pretending not to notice as he adjusts himself. “Um it’s a whole thing about prom and expecting to embarrass myself and the thought of that making me panic and then the idea of panicking in front of everyone being embarrassing and then panicking about that yeah…I’m…” he makes the crazy gesture. He’s much more comfortable talking about it to Patrick now. He’s been in therapy and also Patrick’s been there with him since they were little.

“You know Maddy’s not perfect, right?” Patrick says amusedly talking about Arts prom date.

Art nudges him playfully with his leg, “I know.”

“Try to relax and have fun. And remember she came in 10th place in the girls round robin. Dude Stevie Miles beat her.”

Art laughs and takes a breath, continuing to smile fondly. “Yeah…okay thanks Pat. Sorry about—“ he gestures awkwardly to his lap.

Patrick brushes it off. It does intrigue him but he figures now isn’t the time or place to press. “It’s no problem.”

“And I mean thanks for always… I don’t know. Thanks for not freaking out when I…even when we were kids. I’m so glad I got you as my— thanks.”

Patrick shrugs, swallowing on something in his throat. “Listen dude go easy on the punch tonight,” Patrick says, changing the subject. He wraps his arm around Arts shoulder talking a little quieter. “We’re gonna spike it.”

“You’re not,” Art says, eyes wide.

“Dont look so innocent you heard us planning it.”

“I didn’t think you were serious.”

“When am I not serious?” Patrick smirks.

“Whatever just don’t get expelled you idiot. If I have to play those Austrians with Miller as my partner at the Open I really will freak out.”

“Oh no don’t worry,” Patrick laughs like it’s fool proof. “I’ll be there. I’ve got you.”

(I ask that you suspend your disbelief because I needed to put Serena/federer/Nadal and Murray into a previous tennis generation so I don’t have to think about the idea of Art beating Nadal on a clay court cause my imagination is not that big lol. Also I can’t recall who Art and Pat played against in the junior us open. I should probably rewatch the movie 😅)

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

I think one hot summer day after melting alone in a motel room for 3 weeks and after a million and one viewings of the lost boys (on a stolen vhs tape) dean is like sammy. sammy. you have to pierce my ear for me. I’ll get you ice cream if you do a good job sammy do you wanna pierce my ear. and sammy, 11 years old, just starting to enter the fun, feral, and bloodthirsty stage of adolescence, is like. dean I have quite literally never wanted anything more. give me a needle NOW. they sanitize the needle in listerine mouthwash and they don’t have an ice cube, but they’re vaguely aware that a lemon is sometimes involved in the process so they decide to squirt it on dean’s ear AFTER poking a hole in it. they don’t steady the ear with anything and sam overestimates his strength and jams it in so hard it also stabs into dean’s neck and they almost couldn’t pull it out. they’re both screaming. sammy starts frantically squeezing lemon juice all over the side of dean’s face which is making him scream more. john walks in in the middle of this and in a rare moment of picking his battles he’s like alright. as long as that doesn’t get infected neither of you are in trouble. clean up the blood off the sink. jesus christ do you even have an earring to put in there? no, they do not have an earring. that genuinely never occurred to dean<3 john thinks this is genuinely hilarious and finds a safety pin to use instead and reiterates that it Better not get infected. of course this piercing IMMEDIATELY gets infected. it’s very bad, but dean knows they can’t afford a doctor’s trip and neither of the boys wanna bring it up to john and ruin a good memory for him, so dean enters a beanie phase (in the middle of a heat wave) to hide it, and honestly at this point john forgot and just thought the hat was a normal weird teenage fashion fad so he didn’t question it. they had to wait until bobby’s next custody-six-weekends to get to a doctor and bobby yelled at them for an hour straight and insisted on cleaning it out with the medicine himself since they obviously can’t be trusted to take care of themselves, and also made sure to tell the boys that the actual hole was crooked and looked dumb as hell, although dean did find an anti-possession symbol earring on his bedside table the next morning

[simp4nott]

⤹𓍢ִ໋ THE ROOMATES

Summary: You and Ellie didn't exactly get along, yeah you hung around each other but it was only for your friends sake. One of you always found a way to annoy one another until you both were pissed at one another. So when it came to the apartments in Jackson, Maria had full control of roommates. So when you and Ellie find out who you’ve been paired with... let's say neither of you are excited.

pairing: Ellie Williams x f!reader

Word count: 414!

Warnings: (no warning for the sneak peek but here are the warnings that will be in the fic) Smut!, kissing (obviously), Strap on sex (r receiving), dirty talk, hot lesbian sex, and fingering (r receiving).

A/N: if you see this and are like 'I've seen something exactly like this' is because you properly have, because I deleted it after posting it because I didn't know how to write the rest , BUT I have been rewriting it (kinda) and finally figured out how I'm gonna finish this fic.

Maria had been assigning roommates since they had cleared the apartment building.

The one thing Maria didn't tell her or anyone, is who they'd be roommates with. She had only given the number of the apartment they'd be staying at.

So when Ellie found her apartment and unlocked it, expecting it to be a bit louder in her shared space, she was surprised to find it quiet, which could only mean her roommate wasn't here yet.

The apartment was nice, had a cozy little living room, great kitchen & nice bathroom even after going through an outbreak and years of infected and raiders.

Elie had finally made it to the area where she assumed the bedrooms were, and since she was the first one there, she went to see which room was bigger.

So it was a surprise to Ellie when she opened the first door to find you laying on your pink zebra striped bedding, white stringed headphones in your ear as you watch something on your phone.

"Great, you're the one Maria put me with." she scoffed, obviously annoyed that she'd have to share a living space with you.

"God, don't act so disappointed, you know deep down you were hoping for this." you said, taking the headphones out of your ears, and a smile on your face.

"Oh, you fucking wish." she spoke, rolling her eyes and walking to the door across from yours, leaving your door open to irritate you.

"In your dreams babe!" Ellie heard you yell from across the hall.

And the way Ellie's eyes went wide, she couldn't think fast enough to say something back.

"Cat got your tongue Williams? " You spoke resting against the door frame, arms crossed and smirk on your face.

"You're such a pain in the ass." Ellie said, her back to you as she started to unpack desk supplies onto her desk.

You found yourself wandering into her room, finding a box on the floor near the closet door.

"Damn Williams, that all you got, you goin easy on me?" you said bending down to go through the box on the ground.

“What are you doing?” she asked, turning to stand behind you to see what the fuck you where doing. 

She tries to pretend not to see your hot pink thong peeking out of your jeans calling her name and luring her into a trap.

 Once Ellie saw that you were going through her stuff, she put an end to that very fucking quickly.

Moving from behind you to the side of you to snatch the box away from you.

"Can you fuck completely off."she snapped at you; aggravated for too many damn reasons, her body and mind betraying her, and you almost finding something very important to her lifestyle . 

Ellie was ready to take a long nap and completely forget who she was living with. 

“God, you’re no fun williams.” you roll your eyes before you sway your hips out of her room.

Ellie watched you leave the doorway of her bedroom.

                   God, what the fuck is happening??

A/n: As I'm posting this right now, I'm actively switching tabs between google docs and Tumblr.

I'm thinking that this fic will be posted either this upcoming Friday or that weekend , and this time I WON'T delete this and also not post the fic .

feedback would be appreciated, I did not proofread because I'm running on cherry Coke Zero and few hours asleep + school.

[wazzappp]

So. @quasar-crew made a post about all the fun fic ideas they've been thinking of and within that was an 'Everyone gets infected funtimes' au. It has consumed me.

Ashleys mutations mostly focus on allowing her to GET AWAY and doing it QUICKLY. Most of her time while infected with the Plaga is spent trying to get away from threats, so it responded to that when developing its 'improvements'. She's mostly based off of the Novistador enemies found in the later levels.

Her clawed feet allow for climbing and perching on small objects. Armor extends up the leg because lets be real bro. I saw Jacksepticeyes playthrough theres no way her legs didnt at least get OCCASIONALLY grazed by wayward bullets from Leon trying to shoot whoever is carrying her away. NEVER AGAIN. Her armor is not as strong as I would imagine Leons is because it needs to be light enough to allow her to fly.

The Novistador's only have three fingered 'hands' so that translates over by only mutating three of her fingers. She has mandibles but they're mostly meant as a last resort self defense, along with her new sharp teeth (TEEF. TEEEEEEEEEFFFF). They don't move much beyond slight up and down motions. She also has a nictitating membrane that rests on the edges of her eyes when not in use. It activates after she blinks (think like a windshield wiper clearing away debris) and also covers her eyes when she's flying. This does impede her vision a little bit, so its best for her to find somewhere to rest if she's up there to spy.

Ashley has considerably less armor than Leon because 1. thats not the focus of her mutation. the focus is allowing her to get away from threats and 2. because she needs to remain light enough to actually get in the air. Her wings are extensions of the Plagas legs that have shifted to rest more on its back than its sides. That way its less strain on her back muscles (shoulders are already so fuckin complicated bro). They move in more of an x motion than an up and down. The best thing to compare them too would be a hummingbird. I briefly considered looking to dragonflies and their flight, which led me to this very cool video but I think she's just too large for that to work. Her wings have no bones in them, instead relying on the Plagas strong exoskeleton (carcinization strikes again) to keep her lightweight but strong. In theory, if she practiced enough, she should be strong enough to just. Pick an enemy up, lift them into the air, and then drop them.

Her antennae are controlled by a small tendon anchored just above her ears. They act to gather extra sensory information. They can detect smell, temperature (fire chaser beetle style babyyyy), and they are sensitive to touch which allows her to sense wind direction when she's flying up high. When in a situation where too much is going on, they will flatten back to try and avoid sensory overload. It's like when you turn down your car radio to see a parking spot better.

Also, because I forgot to draw it sometimes, the armor on her back wraps around her neck to protect more of her main veins and arteries. Plus, no more choking so thats a bonus.

And heres just. Some random doodles because I ended up really enjoying drawing her (bonus Leon with an awkward cutoff because idk how I want to draw his feet yet. Some kind of fucked up digitigrade deal most likely I just haven't figured out the details.)

Next up, Ada Wong you can not run from me.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hey hey it's welcome home!

May or may not be doing this cause its a description of one of my ocs, but uuuh- Wally, Poppy and Frank with a 'reader' who is basically Robbie Rotten from Lazytown, just an obligatory 'villain' who lives to cause trouble and come up with 'schemes' for the rest of the cast to deal with even though... Uh... They would also completely bail out on whatever they had planned if they got sick because they don't wanna spread it to anyone else shfjsjfhd

Wally

In the show, you're basically the villain character who has a knack for causing many of the plights/perils in each episode.

Like you could be out to sabotage Sally's plays, ruin Wally's pompadour, take a wrecking ball to Home, etc.

Your home has an underground lair with a bunch of high-tech inventions that help you carry out these "evil deeds".

Oh, and you absolutely have a villain song, too.

You can even "hijack" Wally's introductions and proclaim to the viewers that you're gonna take over the neighborhood by the end of the day.

In some episodes, you'd kidnap him and keep him hostage--only for the rest of the neighbors to come to the rescue.

It's a game that you seemingly always lose, but you find it fun!

Yet even as a villain, you have standards.

For instance, Wally was expecting you to show up and interrupt his painting session...but he sees you off in the distance going to the pharmacy with a mask on and wonders what you're up to.

It turns out you got the flu, so you wanted to forego whatever scheme you plotted until you felt better.

"You won't try...spreading your sickness to us?" He tilts his head, confused.

"....I'm a villain, Darling." You huff in a tired, stuffy voice (yes, you refer to everyone by their last name). "Not a monster."

Poppy

As the main "villain" of the show, sometimes you'll pick on Poppy for being a "big scaredy chicken" and thwart her cooking attempts.

You might discreetly add something to her food that makes it taste yucky, or remotely crank the oven 100 degrees extra so her pie turns to charcoal.

Of all the cast, she's the most intimidated by you. The others usually come to her defense.

However, one day you visit her barn, and while she freaks out at first...she notices you look rather exhausted and sickly (not to mention keeping your distance), and her motherly side still manages to come out.

"O-Oh, are you okay, dearest? You don't look well.."

"...I caught a cold. Do you..have any tea?" You ask softly.

Of course, she can't say no and turn you away. So she makes you some hot tea, which you sincerely thank her for, and you two chat for some time before heading back home without incident.

Since then, your schemes against her became just casual teasing and stealing a few of her ingredients.

Maybe you're not so bad after all, she thinks.

Frank

You like targeting Frank solely because your antics make him furious.

He acts like you don't bother him..but when you make a giant butterfly-catching contraption and abduct all the butterflies from the park? He'll be seething red and demand you to release them.

Or if you release a swarm of bees/wasps/hornets when he's trying to have a nice picnic with his fellow neighbors? He'll be shouting at you as he runs the other way.

You just grin, finding delight in pissing him off at every opportunity.

However, one day you catch a cold and decide to put a pause on your evil schemes, opting to sleep in and leave your neighbors alone.

Yet that day so-happens to be the day that Frank plans to give you an earful about your behavior, as he marches over to your house to confront you.

But since it's locked behind a high-tech security gate, the system asks him for the entry password and he keeps getting it wrong.

In the end he storms back home, but that's where you call him and explain you were sick and didn't want him getting infected.

You do admit that seeing him shouting random words at your security system made you laugh the sickness out of you, so you felt much better now--and you thank him for that.

He just grumbles a "you're welcome" and hangs up.

[ursulanoodles]

Stardew Valley Bachelor Headcanons: Piercings

My stab at some silly piercing headcanons. Slightly NSFW. 18+

Alex: Since he’s athletic, he’d be really choosy about which piercings he gets. Definitely doesn’t want something that could be easily ripped out/tugged on during games or practice. Nipple piercings are out for this guy. I also think he’d go for simple piercings, nothing overly adventurous.

Ear lobes, orbital, snug, maybe traditional tongue piercing (iykyk😜)

Elliott: Like Alex, I can’t see Elliott having anything too adventurous. He seems like a more laid-back and pretentious (in a good way) kind of guy. Definitely vain. He would get piercings purely for aesthetic reasons.

Nostril, ear lobes, orbital, snug, tragus, daith, helix

Harvey: Absolutely not. He’s far too worried about the infections and negative health effects that piercings could cause.

Sam: Sam strikes me as the kind of guy who would get anything and everything just for the fun of it (and maybe even on a dare).

Anything on the ears (including plugs/spacers/gauges), nipples, septum, nostril, labret, medusa, lip, eyebrow (horizontal or traditional), earl

Tongue: viper piercing, frenulum, or tip.

Genital: Dydoe, frenum, lorum - aesthetic and pleasurable

Sebastian: Sebastian, like Sam, would be more adventurous than most of the bachelors but less adventurous than Sam. He’s way more into tattoos than piercings.

Ears: plugs/spacers/gauges, lobes, forward helix, daith, tragus/anti, snug, helix

Nostril, lip (or snakebites), nipples, tip of the tongue

Genital: Maybe dydoe or frenum - for your pleasure

Shane: More conservative with piercings than Sam or Sebastian, but still into them. That being said, he also strikes me as the kind of guy who might secretly be afraid of needles: no logical reasoning, just vibes.

Plugs/spacers/gauges, industrial, helix/forward, daith

Maybe traditional tongue for your pleasure😉(he really likes to give head, okay?)

Genital: Dydoe, frenum, or Prince Albert. He was drunk when this happened. His partner(s) seem to enjoy it, so he keeps it.

** Assuming the bachelors are cis

These are my headcanons. If you don't like them, feel free to keep scrolling. No need to be hateful.

Dividers here

[lionlena]

Headcanon: When Joel goes limp… (JoelMillerxf!reader)

Okay, so @creedslove infected my brain with this thought through this post. Joel's simply bruised ego is something that affects me like blood to a vampire… I had to write it! I had to comfort my old grumpy teddy bear!!!

Warnings: smut, erection problems, flaccid dick, Joel's bruised ego (deserves a separate warning), swearing, age difference but not clearly defined…

Sex with Joel was always special.

Sometimes it was rough and made you feel it the next day. You proudly looked at the bruises spread all over your body and you felt like you could still hear his growls in your ear.

Sometimes he was gentle, almost lazy, and only his rough hands on your thighs reminded you how strong Joel could be.

Well, sex wasn't a problem until one day when suddenly it was.

There was no indication of this. Joel came home from work late that night and you were sitting on the couch in just his t-shirt and panties. That was enough to make him horny.

You dressed like that for a reason. Joel had a tough job and for over two weeks he had been coming home while you were already asleep and leaving while you were still in a deep sleep.

So you started to miss his thick cock stretching your pussy.

So you both were hungry for each other's bodies. It seemed like a perfect equation, the solution of which was wild, hot sex.

It started well. Joel got to you. He pulled your panties down with one hand and began to prepare you. His other hand was already under your T-shirt and kneading your breasts.

You panted and kissed his neck as his thick, rough fingers worked inside your pussy.

You felt a bulge growing in his pants.

"Come on honey, I'm ready... I had some fun before you came back."

Joel chuckled and gripped your hips tightly.

"You've been a naughty girl, huh?"

He lowered his pants and boxers in one move. His cock stood proud. You bit your lip, preparing for the first stinging thrust, and…

Nothing.

You blinked your eyes and looked at him in surprise. Joel looked at you equally shocked and you didn't know what he meant until you looked between his legs.

"Oh, Joel... Sweetie, it's..."

Joel cut you off, not letting you finish. He quickly pulled up his pants, hiding his flaccid cock, and moved to the other end of the couch, mumbling, "I'm sorry."

Your heart clenched at how broken his voice was, and even in the dim light you could see that his face was red.

You carefully approached him as if he were a scared animal. You stroked his arm gently. "Joel..."

Joel looked down at his lap, cleared his throat, and replied gruffly, "There's nothing to talk about. I'm old... I should have expected it, that I couldn't keep up with your youth..."

You raised an eyebrow and wanted to laugh, but you knew he would assume you were laughing at him and not at the bullshit he was saying.

You moved even closer and cupped his face, forcing him to look at you. You tried hard to keep your voice calm, soothing, and comforting, but not pitying. You didn't want him to think you felt sorry for him.

"Honey, you know it's not true. These things also happen to younger men and they have a thousand reasons. Fatigue, stress, diet, medications, illness..."

You rubbed his cheek gently and smiled. "You've been working a lot lately and your body finally couldn't handle it. There's nothing to be ashamed of."

Joel looked a little calmer, but there was still some anxiety in him: "Maybe you should find someone..."

You glared at him. "Joel Miller, if you finish this sentence, I will kick your ass!"

The corners of his mouth lifted slightly. One of his hands went to your thigh and he started squeezing it gently. He placed the other one on your cheek.

"You know, I'm ready to satisfy you in some other way. My mouth, tongue, and fingers are at your disposal."

And it was a really tempting proposition. You loved the feeling of his beard on the inside of your thighs, but…

You saw that Joel was still very sensitive, and vulnerable. You didn't want to give him the false impression that you were only with him for sex.

"NO."

Joel looked at you worried. "No? But you wanted it. That's why you waited for me."

You smiled and sat on his lap.

"I was waiting for you because I missed you. I missed your warm, strong body."

You kissed him passionately and decided to explain something to him.

"Joel, I'm not with you because of your thick cock and the fact that you're so fucking handsome... I'm with you because you make me feel safe. Because you're the type of man who can fix a faucet, change tires on a car... And a thousand other things that make me want to be with you."

Joel looked at you, completely enchanted and in love. He hugged you tightly and buried his face in your neck.

"I love you. And I promise that... It will be better next time."

You rubbed his back and kissed his head. "I love you too, Joel. We'll get through this. You just need some rest."

Joel simply murmured more sweet words into your neck and relaxed into your closeness and embrace.

Two weeks later, Joel finally finished the heavy assignment and you two had more time together. That's why you decided to go to the bar.

You were sitting alone at the bar, waiting for Joel to come back from the bathroom. A young man approached you and you immediately didn't like his behavior. He was pushy and didn't understand your polite "fuck off."

When Joel came back and saw this scene, his blood boiled. And at the same time, he thought back to the moment when he let you down. For a moment, he even had the stupid thought of not interfering and giving you a chance to pick up someone younger. But he saw that you weren't comfortable. So he walked up to you and gave the guy a death glare.

"Any problem, honey?"

Joel wrapped his arms protectively around your waist and the young guy huffed.

"Get lost old man, this chick needs a ride on a young stud."

Before Joel could say anything, you jumped off the stool. You felt your blood boil and you stuck your finger into the guy's chest. You gave him the ugliest look and hissed, "Listen to me, I've been polite, but now... Fuck off! I don't need a little boy for one night stand when I have a real man at home."

The guy gave you a hostile look and normally you would be scared, but you felt Joel's strong frame pressed protectively against your back. The guy said to you contemptuously, "You don't know what you're missing" and left.

You felt proud and you want to turn around to kiss Joel. But you narrowed your eyes at the feeling of his hard cock pressing into your ass.

Joel rested his chin on your shoulder and growled, “Bathroom, right now, please.”

You were more than willing and moved forward with Joel still right behind you.

You were damn lucky because the women's bathroom was free. Joel immediately pushed you inside and blocked the main entrance. In one movement, he lifted you up and sat you on the counter next to the sink. He took off your panties and slid his finger into your pussy.

"Are you wet already?"

You laughed quietly. "You turned me on."

"Me? You were like a damn wild cat..."

He leaned down and bit your neck. By this time, your hands were already working on his belt buckle and zipper to free his thick, throbbing cock.

Joel looked at you with love and excitement. "Ready to ride a mature stallion?"

You nodded and bit your lip as he entered you with a decisive movement.

You moaned happily as you felt the familiar stretching.

You grabbed onto Joel's tightly muscled arms as he tightened his large hands on your hips and set a brutal pace, growling in your ear.

"Fuck, I love you... Your pussy is perfect... You make me feel younger..."

Soon you were barely holding back your loud moans, but Joel clearly wasn't going to keep quiet and was grunting loudly himself as he painted your walls with his hot cum.

Afterward, he kissed you gently and tenderly whispered against your lips, "Thank you."

You laughed and ruffled his hair. "You're welcome."

Joel helped you down and knelt down to help you set up your panties.

When you left, a line of several very annoyed girls had already formed in the hallway.

But you two just started laughing and said a carefree "sorry".

Joel led you to his truck and you drove home where Joel fucked you again. This time even longer and more intensely.

[numberonetacostan]

I would like to request a fluff headcanon for Tacomic because as much as making characters suffer is fun I don't think I can do this anymore 🙁

Hi there!!!!^^ Welcome, and thank you for sending in your request!!! X] Ask and you shall receive!!! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ(ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ(ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

Tacomic fluff headcanons!!!! I'll give you a few to help you feel better :3 Hopefully these are all ones I haven't shared before, if I have I'm sorry!!!

I've seen this one floating around beyond me, but Mic definitely helps Taco with hygiene post-canon. As proper as Taco likes to present herself, she's been homeless in the woods for years, she has not been able to bathe properly, brush her teeth, etc., and with all that's happened to her recently even if she hadn't experienced years of homelessness it makes sense that hygiene things could fall to the wayside.

In a similar vein, the primary reason why Taco starts actively trying to start eating a healthy amount of food post-canon is because of Mic. Taco has been rationing her food for like a decade now, she's in her one-meal-a-day era until how little she eats is noticed post-canon. Taco is Taco and just starting her redemption here so she is trying to dodge the vulnerability that would come with talking about it until Mic gets quite emotional about it. How would you feel learning that your bestie has been in starvation mode for years, you didn't know for the longest time, and now she's trying to avoid getting better and being helped when you do find out? Pretty bad!!! She's so very worried about Taco, which is what makes Taco actually try and start eating more.

AAAA these are still a bit angsty aren't they??? Sorry!!!!!!! I'll do fluff for real now. Taco is tiny and doesn't retain heat well, Mic is always warm!!! So sometimes when they're hanging out together pre-relationship, cuddles ensue, and Mic chills out listening to music while Taco snoozes on her for hours.

I think Mic would really like playing with Taco's lettuce. Or her hair if they're humanized. But regardless Mic would like fluffing it up and shifting it around. She once gave Taco little bunny ears with her lettuce and Taco didn't know about it for hours until someone told her they were cute.

I hc Mic to have quite a lot of piercings, that she'd do herself!!! And eventually, Mic would pierce Taco's ears!!! This would also have to be post-canon, since the risk of infection would be absurdly high while Taco is homeless, but you did say you wanted fluff and post-canon is where the yuri is healthy so. But yes!!! Mic pierces Taco's ears, and she has little red studs reminiscent of tomatoes :3c.

I hope those are enough to satisfy you!!!! Feel free to ask for more any time!!! ;]